Perspective

I felt like I had been working constantly, not even stopping to rest, after two weeks of ten hour days composing syllabi. Then I thought I had finished. But I got a call asking me to take another class whose teacher had decided not to show but not deigned to tell anyone. I agreed.

School started and it should have been a relief to slow down from the pell mell run of getting ready. Instead I felt as if I were having to run even faster just to keep up with myself.

Then Thursday arrived. I had taught three classes twice. One class once and had another that afternoon. One class is still to come.

On Thursday I wasn’t working all the time. Mostly I’d taught my classes for the week and it was a time of rest. I did some errands which were chores but not time consuming. On the way back from them I realized that I am teaching more than full time, for a college teacher, and getting half time pay. Briefly I wondered how I had come to such a pass.

Then I realized that if I taught full time, I would teach fewer hours but I would have less control over my schedule. As a homeschooling mother, I need control over my schedule. That recognition was sufficient to cause me to relax about the schedule and the income. I should feel a bit pushed and I’m not making big bucks, but I am able to continue doing what is most important–homeschooling my sons. It helps.

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